Nothing In My Mind by Luz Varela

I am nothing
just a shadow of yesterday
a speck of light,
the best speakers are born tomorrow
but they live enslaved by the nine-to five
and are burdened with a curious mind.

I am nothing,
just a voice sore from yelling.
Hoping these minutes turn into light years.
all I do is stare into the water
and wait for my reflection to talk back,

all I do is imagine the birth of stars
and paint supernovas across the
concrete jungles of my mind.
All I do is soothe the soulless and remind
them that I am one of them,
that I belong with them

I am nothing.

Maybe the heaven we imagine is only
a puddle in this oceanic universe,
maybe we ought to swim for something
bigger than ourselves,
maybe I can only see as far as my heart can
So my vision is infinite.

To know is to want
and so I want to know more about this
paint that paints the night.
A black as dull as my conscience.

To live for yourself is to live selfishly
but to live for others is to live eternally.
Forever never seems that long until
you’re grown.

I am nothing
a shadow of yesterday
a speck of light.
I am nothing,
but nothing is what God prefers,
it is the signature of God waiting to be forged.

I unwillingly became a slave of society
forced to put my dreams in a three-dimensional
box
and I am forced to make pain my friend,
but those who are alone are the loneliest
people –
my grandma used to say.

No wonder this generation is lost
fooled by the slogan of “follow your dreams”
but in reality they lure us into a tight cage
where we are kept
like some type of rabid animal that
just wants to be fed.
They feed us with lies and
Even our own time we are forced to devour.

We spend our lives thinking that we are happy
with just being who we are,
doing what we love
but I am afraid to fail at the things
that I love the most.
And I am barely twenty and I don’t really know
what love is yet.

I love only like I know.
Like the trees love water,
like the trees love light.
Maybe I can sit here and be nothing
feel nothing
think nothing
and it would still be possible to survive this
chaos in my mind.

–Luz Varela

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